뉴스레터

  The past is always relative. To us living in the 21st century, all previous periods are considered the past, but to the people who lived during the Joseon Dynasty, that era was the present, not the past. However, whether in the present or in the past, one unchanging fact is that people have always lived, and even now and back then, people like us have lived and made history. Yet, there were differences. The conditions of life were different. Therefore, even though the same people existed, the way of life was vastly different from one another. The way people met, loved, and married was no exception.

Marriage Customs of Goguryeo Grooms as Seen in 『Records of the Three Kingdoms』 - The Book of Dongyi

  The records related to Goguryeo in the 『Records of the Three Kingdoms』 - The Book of Dongyi, contain traces of blood and tears shed by men in Goguryeo to get married. According to these records, in Goguryeo, when a marriage agreement was made between both families, the woman’s family would build a small house called ‘Seo-ok’ next to the woman's house. In modern terms, it is a son-in-law’s house. Once the house was built, the man who would become the son-in-law had to stand outside the woman’s house, state his name, kneel down, bow, and ask for permission to enter the house and live with the woman who would become his wife. After doing this several times, he would finally receive the permission of the woman’s parents to enter the Seo-ok and live there. At the side of the Seo-ok, money and cloth were piled up. It is said that the son-in-law would live with his wife in the Seo-ok until their son was grown, and then take the son back to his own house.

  Even for marriages that were already agreed upon, Goguryeo grooms would repeatedly bow down and plead to be accepted as a son-in-law in front of the bride’s house. Moreover, they had to live in the bride’s house until their son was grown, almost as a servant. Scholars still have differing opinions on which house provided the money and cloth piled up next to the Seo-ok. Some believe that it might have been a form of wedding dowry brought by the groom and piled next to the Seo-ok. On the other hand, according to other records, Goguryeo people felt ashamed when they received the wedding dowry during the marriage because they were said to have sold their daughters to the bride’s house as woman servants. Based on these records, some believe that the money and cloth were prepared by the bride’s family. In this case, the money is regarded as a form of payment for the groom’s labor.

  The custom of the groom living in the bride’s house until the child was born and raised after marriage seemed to exist not only in Goguryeo but also in Silla. The family story in the 『Records of the Three Kingdoms』 describes scenes where the groom is called to the bride’s house for the wedding ceremony. This custom was passed down through the Goryeo and Joseon periods, becoming deeply rooted until it started to decline in the mid-Joseon Dynasty when the paternal-centric patriarchal order began to take hold. Even today, it is customary for a couple to visit the wife’s family first, after their honeymoon, which may be the result of social memories from the past influencing our current behavior.

Another Form of Marriage among Goguryeo People

  By the way, there was another form of marriage custom in Goguryeo, in which a younger brother married his elder brother’s wife after his death. In the Goguryeo annals in 『Records of the Three Kingdoms』, the following story is recounted:

When Goguryeo’s King Gogukcheon passed away, his wife, Lady Yu, concealed the king's death and went to his brothers, Balgi and Yeonwoo, to ask them if they had any intention to take over the throne. Neither of them knew that the king had died, but while Balgi refused Lady Yu’s proposal because he thought the King was still alive, Yeonwoo accepted it. Consequently, Lady Yu manipulated the king's will, and Yeonwoo became the next king. This man is King Sansang. King Sansang married his elder brother’s wife, Lady Yu.

  The custom of a younger brother marrying his elder brother’s wife after his death was a social custom among various Eurasian nomadic tribes, including the Huns. Since it is challenging to categorize Goguryeo as a nomadic tribe, the case of King Sansang and Lady Yu may be viewed as an exceptional situation in the unusual process of royal succession, rather than a common practice in Goguryeo. However, there are indications of similar customs in Buyeo, which was generally similar to Goguryeo in terms of language and various cultural aspects. The Goguryeo Chronicles in the 『Book of Liang』 also mentions the practice of marrying a brother's wife after his death. Hence, it is evident that this was also a prevalent custom in Goguryeo.

A Shortcut to Encounter the Lives of People in the Past

  Some researchers try to understand the ‘Seo-ok system’ and ‘Marrying a brother’s wife’ as distinct marriage forms that were practiced by the ruled and ruling classes. However, it can also be understood that the custom of ‘Marrying a brother’s wife’ is part of a form of marriage practiced alongside the ‘Seo-ok system’ because it is, strictly speaking, a remarriage for the woman. In the past, there were views that considered ‘Marrying a brother’s wife’ as ‘animal marriage’, meaning a marriage form of animals, treating it as an abnormal exception. Nevertheless, ‘Marrying a brother’s wife’ served a social function of maintaining the community in nomadic societies, making it a dominant marriage practice. Criticizing the marriages of the past with the ethical standards of today is a typical error of judging the past by modern standards where the conditions of life were different. A shortcut to encounter the lives of our ancestors from the past is lying in our willingness to see them through the eyes of those who lived through them.